July 4, 2004

St. Kitts, West Indies

Hello my Dear, Sweet Mother.

I’ve wanted to write this letter for way too long….I’ve been thinking about all that I am going to say in it for months and years….and now is finally the time to commit all of it to words.

I love you.  I love you.  I love you.

You are and have been the greatest gift to me that I will ever have.  I cherish it.  I’m humbled by it.  I don’t thank you and God nearly enough for it.  Thank you s’mores.

At this point in my life when I look back on my childhood, I see it as a very loving, fun, adventuresome, creative and healthy time.  At the root of it all is you.  You were always there for me despite the demands that 3 other children put on you.  You always had the time and patience to get me back to where I needed or wanted to be.  In light of my own parenting experience, I don’t know how you managed to do that.  I floundered with only 2 children!

I think of you as a very classy, proud woman.  You always dressed so well, even during the time that all your children consumed the clothing budget, which left no money for your own wardrobe.  You taught me everything I know about matching clothing, colors, textures, old with new, and style.  I learned from you to neglect the “latest” trends (that would wear out long before the clothes would).  Today, while complimenting my clothing style, many people ask me “who dresses you?”.  I always answer them “my Mom does”.

Your love of the aesthetic was passed on to me as well.  I know a good floral arrangement when I see one, because there were always beautiful arrangements at home while I was growing up.  When having to do the task myself, I do a pretty good job of it, although nothing like you can….but still better than most others.  And I swear….each and every time I make an arrangement, I think of you.

You are an upbeat person.  Nothing seems to get you down to where you complain much or wallow in misery.  You always find a way to navigate the pitfalls with a smile.  I wish I had half your strength to do that…..or at least make others think so!!!

You are so kind to other humans even though some don’t deserve it.  That’s just your way.  You are such a Gentle Christian Woman.

Still….the best meals I ever enjoyed were the ones you made.  I have very fond memories of the Velveeta and tomato sandwiches you used to make for us kids while Dad was driving us somewhere on vacation.  I can never seem to make them as good as you.

I think Dad knew he was the luckiest man in the world to have coupled with you….a Kansas farm girl who kicked off her muddy boots, got on a train and went East with the dashing Army bomber pilot.  (I betcha sometime on that train ride little ‘ole me became life, too!!)  You were his loyal spouse, partner and mate.  You were his leavening, his centering, and his tether to earth.  There probably isn’t another woman on the planet who would have been able to coax all of his potential to fruition.  You were very patient with him….and he did need a lot of it….all the while you kept yourself off stage, allowing him the spotlight.  Wow!

You have always been very even-handed with each of your children.  We were all loved equally and fully, as difficult as it must have been for you at times.  I don’t know how you did it and still do it.  It is a gift that you have and one that I’ll always respect and remember.

Even when I was going through a turbulent adolescence, I knew to my core that I could always count on your love.  I am eternally grateful for that.

And so my Dear, Sweet Mother, these are some of the thoughts that I’ve had over time and now that I’m on vacation in a lovely paradise, have finally been able to put to words.

Peace be with you.

Your son, Michael.